HTTYD1 BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE
by JustANormalHTTYDFan
Summary: This was written for comedy reasons. Its completely insane, this is not sane in any way, shape, or form. This is not written as a very good piece of writing with a hidden depth or meaning, its literally written for the hell of it and just because...Why not?


**Why the hell did I write this? I don't know. Why am I publishing it? I don't know. Did I enjoy it? No one knows.**

**This is a one shot, and I hope I never drop to this level of insanity ever again with my fanfics...**

**Enjoy.**

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HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1 BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Hiccup ran out of his now burning house, throwing his arms around in an attempt to confuse the Dragon's flying about. Eventually, Stoick grabs him and throws him into the Forge, where he lands safely thanks to Gobber.

*TACTICAL NUKKKKEEE!* Toothless roared before blowing up a watchtower, flying through it before catching fire.

*HOT HOT HOT HOT!* Toothless yelled, even though he was fireproof, and quickly took a dip in the ocean to cool off, only to come back up covered in ice.

*Yeah...Berk's cold as f##k* Toothless remarked only for a stray bola to hit him, Hiccup on a cliff nearby next to a malfunctioning food launcher that had a bola randomly in its ammo pile.

"Oopsie" Hiccup mumbled with a shrug, kicking the device off the cliff. It was a failure, so back to square one. Erase all evidence of failure.

Hiccup then started doing a backward bunnyhop into the woods, eventually stumbling upon a Toothless who was sleeping and using the bola as a blanket.

Hiccup tripped and pulled the bola off, and Toothless woke up pissed, as his tail fin had gotten taken off alongside the blanket and now he was cold and flightless.

*ILL GET UP IN FIVE MORE MINUTES!* Toothless roared into Hiccup's face and ran off, quickly stumbling upon the cove and deciding it would make the perfect sleeping spot for the rest of the month, meanwhile, Hiccup fainted.

Hiccup woke up as it started raining, so he got up and used the fallen bola to create a slingshot, which sent the young boy flying into the roof of the Haddock house, which he ended up breaking through and then falling down the stairs where Stoick waited.

"Hiccup, dragon training is required. This argument is very one-sided and you get no say" Stoick stated and Hiccup shrugged.

"Ok" Hiccup stated and then practically slithered up the stairs like a snack, quickly using his bed as if it was a bed in Minecraft to make the night pass by in a single moment.

Hiccup then used a prop glitch to throw himself into the Dragon Training Arena, where he fell through the grating and landed, only for Meatlug to start chasing him.

*COME BACK HERE, I WANT TO HUG YOUUUU* Meatlug yelled only to eventually catch Hiccup in a corner, before accidentally firing some lava at the wall next to Hiccup.

"NO FIRING LAVA IN MEH ARENA!" Gobber yelled and dragged Meatlug to the timeout cage, where all captured Dragons must stay when they break GOBBERS RULES OF THE ARENA.

"Hiccup! DRAGONS ALWAYS GO FOR THE KILL WHEN WOKEN UP!" Gobber yelled before doing backflips out of the Arena, the rests of the Teens looking at Hiccup as if he was a fish out of water.

Hiccup was confused, so he did a backward bunnyhop to the forest and eventually found the discarded bola in the forest, which he picked up as he reminisced on why the Night Fury didn't kill him.

"Why didn't you?" Hiccup asked and then heard loud draconic snoring from nearby, so he quickly sprinted to the source and found a beautiful cove for nappy, with Toothless sleeping in the middle.

"SO...MAJESTIC..." Hiccup whispered before pulling out a book and quickly sketching the sleeping Night Fury, but then Toothless yawned and looked up at the Human who was LOUDLY sketching.

*Leave, I want to sleep for five more minutes. Your loud...sketching is disturbing me* Toothless stated and Hiccup froze before throwing a smoke bomb at his own feet, disappearing before the smoke faded away.

*Weird...he better not interrupt my naps* Toothless stated and went back to napping, quickly going back to snoring.

Meanwhile, Hiccup nearly got caught by a Deadly Nadder in the Arena, and Astrid's temper snapped (It was short anyway) and she yelled.

"Figure out which side you're on! CAUSE PLOT!" Astrid yelled and then did cartwheels out of the Arena, the Teens snickering at plot development before leaving as Gobber closed up the Arena.

"Hmm...better go become friends with that Night Fury, he seemed like a pretty good guy to have as a friend" Hiccup remarked and then jumped into the ocean, wrestled a fish into his bare hands and then used a slope to launch himself to the edge of the cove.

"HEYYYYY TOOOTHLLLESSSS!" Hiccup yelled and Toothless woke up, both confused and annoyed.

*Why did you wake me up and how do you know my name?* Toothless asked and Hiccup smiled, stumbling over.

"You didn't kill me when I woke you up the first time, wanna be friends?" Hiccup asked and Toothless looked a bit unsure.

*I don't know, you wake me up a lot and that's very annoying* Toothless stated and Hiccup shrugged.

"I have fish?" Hiccup brought up and Toothless immediately snapped the fish out of Hiccup's hands, gulping it down and then licking Hiccup all over.

*Ok! BEST FRIENDS FOREVERS!* Toothless yelled and then tackled Hiccup and used the boy as a pillow while he took a nap.

"This is slightly uncomfortable" Hiccup mumbled and then decided to use a WAIT to speed up Toothless' 14-hour nap. Eventually, Toothless woke up and Hiccup spotted the Night Fury's missing tail fin.

"You want a new tail fin?" Hiccup asked and Toothless gave a look of yes, nodding.

*And maybe a saddle so we can ride together, best friend?* Toothless asked politely and Hiccup nodded, quickly pulling out some leather and metal chunks from his bigger on the inside pants pockets.

"Let's see," Hiccup says and then started banging the pieces together, and eventually the pieces just changed into a brown tail fin.

"Ok, here we go!" Hiccup yelled and attached the tail fin to Toothless' tail, but the Night Fury took off a bit too quickly, Hiccup still on his tail. Eventually, it failed and they crashed into the lake, both being covered in water.

*Best friend...you need to work on your craftmanship...I'm covered in water now! AND THAT MEANS I HAVE TO TAKE A BATH OR SHOWER, WHICH MEANS NO NAPS FOR A LONG WHILE!* Toothless exclaimed in horror, no naps meant no pleasant dreams for a long while.

"Don't worry! I'll fix this!" Hiccup yelled and then started throwing leather and metal together into a pile, and then hit it with his hands, turning it into a saddle.

"This should help!" Hiccup yelled and threw the saddle onto Toothless, a small 8-bit theme playing as the saddle auto-attached itself and Toothless was dried off.

*IT WORKED! LETS FLY! I need to let out energy before napping for a short 16 hours* Toothless yelled and then threw Hiccup onto his back, the boy landing perfectly and then opening the tail fin.

"Let's hope I can steer us right!" Hiccup yelled and they took off, crashing into rocks a few dozen times before Hiccup relented and took out a phone, looking up basic instructions for the tail fin.

"GOOGLE CAN DO ANYTHING," Hiccup said emotionless and then fully took control over the tail fin, and then they started flying super high into the sky, above the clouds, and towards space.

*I WILL SEE DEM ALIENS! AND THEN NAP ON THE MOON!* Toothless roared with determination, only for Hiccup to slip and fall off the saddle, both of them starting to plummet.

*OH GODS NO! I DONT WANT TO BE A PANCAKE! PANCAKES CANT NAP OR BE CUTE!* Toothless roared and tried to get right-way-up, but he just kept on spinning...and spinning...and spinning...

And then Hiccup jumped onto his back, tried to use his phone but it was dead so he threw it to the wind, where it hit Astrid in the face and lead her somewhere.

Hiccup then tapped into some of the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT POWER and managed to use the tail fin right, landing them both back in the cove where Toothless started licking Hiccup.

*THANK THANK THANK YOU YOU YOU!* Toothless yelled and then stopped, and then collapsed in a heap of snoring and sleeping while Hiccup just stood there.

Eventually, Astrid jumped out from behind a rock and looked at the two, giving a look before dropping Hiccup's phone into the mud.

"IM TATTLING ON YOUUU!" Astrid yelled and ran Sonic fast out of the cove, heading to Berk. Hiccup's eyes widened, if he was caught with Toothless, some very non-PG things might happen to Toothless and himself...cough, death.

"TOOTHLESS! WAKE THE F##K UP AND GET READY TO GO ON A RUN!" Hiccup yelled right in Toothless' ear-flap, and Toothless jumped up, threw Hiccup onto his back, and then ZOOMED up into the sky and into the forest.

Toothless grabbed Astrid and then used a tree to get Astrid onto his back before starting to go onto the trademark Night Fury flight rollercoaster, 5 dollars per ride.

*YOU OWN ME FISHHHHH!* Toothless yelled while spinning up high into the sky, and Astrid eventually stopped screaming and apologized.

"I'm sorry, please stop! ILL GET YOU CAKE!" Astrid yelled and Toothless looked skeptical as he stopped high in the sky, above the clouds.

*Really? Last time a female promised me a cake, it turned out to be a lie and I got an incinerator instead* Toothless stated and Astrid nodded.

"I'm not lying! Please!" Astrid responded and Toothless shrugged.

*Ok, cake for a free night flight, seems fair. ROLLERCOASTER OVER PEOPLE! GET BACK TO YOUR BORING LIVES!* Toothless yelled and then went high into the sky, Astrid eventually hugging Hiccup.

"Hiccup, I'm started to realize Dragons aren't as bad as we thought. Because its time to give in to character development" Astrid stated and then Toothless' ear-flaps perked up.

*Wait...someone else is promising me a cake...MORE CAKE!* Toothless yelled and flew to Dragon Island, where hundreds of Dragons were dropping fish down into a red pit.

"Oh look, their's the source of this entire war," Hiccup remarked casually and pointed at the Red Death, who ate a Dragon whole in one gulp.

*Can I have my cake now?* Toothless asked and the Red Death gave a blank stare.

*The cake is a lie, the cake is a lie, and you'll be going in my mouth* The Red Death stated and Toothless took off into the sky.

*NOPE! I'll come back, and burn your wings for lying! LYING SUCKS!* Toothless stated and flew off, hundreds of Dragons flying around as well and practicing their fireworks.

Eventually, Toothless used a glitch in the world to practically launch himself back to the Cove, where he rolled to a stop and Hiccup and Astrid both collapsed off him before standing straight back up instantly.

"We need to tell Stoick," Astrid said and Hiccup shook his head.

"No" Hiccup stated and Astrid shrugged, meanwhile, Toothless laid down and started napping again as it was night.

"Ok, what's the plan?" Astrid asked and Hiccup shrugged, casually calm and surprisingly not phased at all by this.

"I'll just say I'm not a Viking and try to calm down the dragon I'm supposed to kill" Hiccup stated and Astrid nodded.

"Nothing will go wrong, good" Astrid responded and Hiccup nodded as well, and then they used fast-travel to get back home, Toothless still sleeping.

Then, just four hours after sunrise, Hiccup was being chased around the arena by a scared and pissed off Monstrous Nightmare.

"I really thought that would work" Hiccup mumbled and then Toothless appeared in the sky out of nowhere.

*TACTICAL NUKKKKEEEEEE!* Toothless yelled and shot a plasma blast at the Arena, tearing apart the grating at the top and making the Monstrous Nightmare faint from fear.

Toothless then quickly gave Hiccup a nuzzle and then decided to take a nap at the worst time, and then the Vikings got them.

"Well, dang, I guess my best friends being taken to that Red Monster Death thing, better get to work" Hiccup stated and ran like Sonic to the arena, where the Dragons and Teens were waiting, thanks to Astrid.

"Ok, let's go save Toothless and kill the Red Death" Hiccup announced with THAT voice and his Speech Level #85 worked and the Teens chose Dragons to ride.

Hiccup and the Teens rode in on the Dragons and Hiccup jumped down onto Toothless' back, quickly using a kick to break the chains around the napping Night Fury.

"Wake up, we need to kill the Red Death" Hiccup stated and Toothless woke up, quickly roaring and taking off into the sky.

*IM MAD! I WAS PROMISED CAKE!* Toothless yelled and started rapid firing plasma blasts into the Red Death's side, eventually causing her to collapse.

*Well, damn* The Red Death mumbled and then took off into the sky, and Toothless followed. Meanwhile, on the ground, Stoick watched in shock.

"Character development...development...development..." Gobber whispered nearby and moved away from Stoick, who continued watching as he gave in to the power of character development.

Meanwhile in the sky, Toothless prepared a massive plasma blast, and fired it at the Red Death...and then the massive Dragon exploded.

*That was easy* Toothless stated as he hovered in the sky and watched the explosion, only for it to hit him and knocked Hiccup unconscious, the boy starting to fall into the now existent explosion below.

*BEST FRIEND, NOOO! YOU WILL NOT DIE ON ME! EVERYBODY LIVES!* Toothless yelled and tackled Hiccup, both of them falling into the explosion.

After a few minutes, the explosion cleared and Stoick started searching the ashes for his son and the Night Fury, and eventually stumbled upon Toothless, who was curled up around Hiccup.

*He just lost a leg...sooooo...nap* Toothless stated and then fell asleep curled around Hiccup, who was missing one of his lower leg's.

Eventually, they all got back to Berk, and Hiccup did an epilogue for the century while Toothless used him as a pillow, and then they lived happily ever after. Except for Toothless, rumors say he still hasn't received his cake to this day.

THE END...or will this continue into HTTYD2? NO ONE KNOWS!

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**Ok, its over, done, go home, go find another fanfic.**

**This is JustANormalHTTYDFan, over and out.**


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